Last night I binged on I AM GEORGINA. Who is Georgina? Why, she’s Cristiano Ronaldo’s girlfriend, and those of you who’ve missed Heat-style WAG coverage will be in heaven. Giorgina eats at the best restaurants, bags freebies from Roberto Cavalli, flies in for the day to Paris to borrow a Gaultier dress or to Milan to cadge some jewels. She tells us of her sacrifices, humble beginnings in Jaca, how she met Cristiano whilst working as a shop assistant at Gucci. She loves jewels, couture, shoes, private planes and Mediterranean cruises, which is lucky for the show as it allows for lots of product placement. She also loves her family, is loyal to her friends and loves all of her children, three of which are not really hers mais qua importa? Cristiano is crazy about her, which he’s not afraid to voice, and in his typically over-emotional way, rather lovely to see from a man. But evidently he doesn’t love her enough to get hitched just yet. Though she’s got many, many rings on her fingers, some with big, fat, shiny, real stones; she’s still lacking THE one. Oh well, she’s got 35 million Instagram followers and seems to be making her own personal fortune out of that. She’s very likeable, so was the show (don’t judge me!) and it was a dreamy way to waste five hours, even if along with plugging everything Georgina likes and does, it’s also the biggest plug ever for Ronaldo himself, human like all of us, yet, according to Georgina, practically perfect in every way. Oh well. He appears relatively fleetingly. It IS her show.

José Arroyo